No – I don’t mean breaking your leg, breaking a world record or breaking your heart. All of those things can definitely change your life – but that’s a blog for another day. No – what I am referring to is breaking a board, or an arrow, or a mental barrier at a ‘self-development’ seminar – that’s the ‘breaking something’ I was referring to. And what made me think about that was 2 things.
Firstly I am speaking at a couple of self-development events this week. And Secondly, someone at one of those events – today – asked me a question. And it went like this.
“Can you really get a breakthrough in a room of 10,000 people Cheryl?” That was a question I was asked at the event I was speaking at in Yorkshire, the Just Balance Conference for women. No – there weren’t 10,000 people there, nor at the event I am speaking at tomorrow in London, Andy Harrington’s Power to Achieve. We were discussing some of the bigger personal development events that are out there and that this person had come across.
My answer is yes and no.
For many people who have booked onto a personal development weekend or other event, they are looking for something, they are ready to make a change, and – especially if it has been an expensive event – they want to feel they have had their money’s worth. So for those people – they will often find what they are looking for – at least temporarily. They will have an insight, or a breakthrough, or have a moment that opens their mind to what is possible for them.
Any event where you can walk on fire, or break a board, bend a bar or break an arrow is going to be very motivating for someone who had no idea that was even possible for anyone, before they came to the event, and let alone for THEM. That can spark the beginnings of a change in someone for sure.
For other people, those events are a bit too full on. One of my friends attended a seminar which was business based and did not expect to be presented with arrow breaking. She hadn’t come to the seminar for that, she didn’t have trust in the seminar presenter as someone who could do that, without harm to individuals, and she also didn’t feel the need to do it. So she didn’t – but she felt very uncomfortable about being the only one in the room who said ‘no’.
Others who were reticent at first, were ‘persuaded’ to do it. But being a bloody-minded Northerner, she wasn’t phased by the emotional blackmail or peer pressure. And she had walked on fire and broken boards in the past – the point was she didn’t go there for that.
And even when people HAVE gone to an event expecting the ‘breaking something’ sort of activity, it still doesn’t mean that they are necessarily going to have a ‘breakthrough’. It could be that they need a different approach, a more personal approach, not being one of 10,000 people in a room.
Although it is perfectly possible to change the habits of a lifetime, or a phobia, in a minute – that certainly won’t happen for the majority of people at an event like that. If that were the case – then you wouldn’t see so many repeat attendees at those kinds of events. If they had it all solved the first time, what would be the need to return?
But here’s the thing, for a lot of people it can be a start. And that’s gotta be a good thing right? Because we all need something to kick us into action from time to time.
For sustained and long-term change to really happen though, you need ongoing support and accountability. Think about it. You are highly charged at an event and ready to commit to anything, especially after breaking something – but when you get back to the ‘real world’ and life takes over, it is easy to lose that enthusiasm and shine, and forget what it was you committed to change and why it was even important anyway.
What you really need for long-term change is someone – or more than one ‘someone’, who is there for you all the time, not just at an event. You need help and encouragement when things get tough and equally important – someone to celebrate with when things go well. And you need the accountability that comes with having a coach, a group or a friend who will hold you to the things you said you wanted to do.
And in that spirit – I would like to invite you (if you have not already booked) to come along to our 1st year anniversary party. Yes – Marion and I have been doing this Find Your Why stuff in the Live Love Laugh Lounge, and the Man Cave for a year now. And so we would like to invite you to come along to the Find Your Why! Foundation Dinner Party for Fun Frolics with Frikkin’ Awesomeness and help us celebrate. The people you will find there are a fabulous group of women and men, who support each other to be the best version of them that they can be. They laugh and cry together – normally when we have been a bit mean…no, I’m joking we aren’t mean at all. But we do help people to hold themselves accountable for the change they want to see in their lives.
So we would absolutely love it if you can make it along on July 22nd at Tankersley Manor, Sheffield. http://www.findyourwhyfoundation.com/1st-anniversary/ where we can all support each other and celebrate all our successes. And one lucky person will win a free place on our next UK retreat in January 2018 – (where we definitely won’t be ‘breaking something’), which will help you make 2018 your Best Year Yet!!