Hello from Marrakesh!
My partner in crime – Marion Bevington – and I (oh don’t I sound posh – like the queen or summat) are currently hosting a retreat in Marrakesh for our WHY’s women. It has been a fabulous week of insights, lightbulb moments and breakthroughs. It has also been very very HOT. It’s 38 degrees at the moment! Phew!
Anyway, I had a little moment this morning, while sat quietly on my own. I thought to myself ‘blummin eck’ – how much has my life changed over the last 4 years? Who would have thought when I was sat in a freight container in a warehouse (no I wasn’t stowing away to Australia – it was an office – not an empty freight container!!) that 4 years later I would be sitting conducting my business by a pool in Marrakesh?
In those days, I used to long for my holidays – I used to look forward to them as times when I could get away from all the stress, all the shit. But, of course, I couldn’t. Because you see, the shit was part of me – and so I just took the stress and the shit with me, and became more stressed. And when I got back from holidays and saw all the work that needed doing, well then, I was more stressed than ever and felt like I needed another holiday!!
Now my story has changed out of all recognition. I am no longer in that place of stress, where I felt stuck. Because I met someone who helped me to recognise that I WAS actually the creator and manager of my life and my thoughts. That I COULD change my life by changing the stories I told myself. That once I figured out what the stories I was telling myself were, and that they WERE just stories, then I could choose what my future could be.
You see – it is hard to figure this stuff out on your own because everyone believes their stories are actually ‘the truth’. They are not. They are your interpretation of the truth.
Did you ever see that advert – and I can’t even remember what it was for – but there was a guy – running away from a car – so it looked like there was a problem there. Then another camera angle saw the same guy running toward a business man with a briefcase and appearing to grab it. This was a skinhead – so it looked like a mugging.
The third camera angle showed what actually happened – the skinhead spotted that a load of bricks being lifted up to scaffolding above looked liked it was unstable – ran to the businessman and grabbed him, pulling him out of the way just as the bricks fell.
Well the events in your life are a bit like that. They are what they are because of the way you interpret them. For example, a good friend of mine sold her successful business to a venture capitalist company a couple of years ago. That should have been very cool but all did not pan out as hoped and she ended up walking away from the company she had spent 8 years building, without the cash that had been promised.
I spoke to her about it and remarked that she seemed pretty calm about it all instead of being angry and upset – which would have been very understandable. She replied ‘Well Chez, for a couple of days I did feel like I had been hit by a bus, I felt stupid for trusting the guys and upset that they were ruining ‘my baby’. But then I thought to myself, Fuck it! Everything happens for a reason. You know that. If this has happened it is because I wasn’t listening to the Universe which was trying to tell me to change direction.’
And 2 years later – that woman has come back stronger than ever, growing her business at a phenomenal rate and really happy. She just won an award for part of what she does. And that is all because of the story she told herself.
It could have been the story of a victim, a “poor me” story – who would have blamed her? It could have been a “I’m a failure, I can’t run a business” story. Instead it was a “I did great, shit happened, but I can do great again” story – which has served her well. And the reason she was able to tell herself THAT story, was because she had a powerful mentor in her life – who never allowed her to drop into self-pity and always helped her rewrite her story to that of a winner.
It can be hard to do that without someone batting on your side, helping you to reframe situations and create something constructive out of a pile of poop, which life can deliver at times. You see it is not how much poop gets thrown at you, it is how you deal with it that counts.
It has been great this week to hear the stories of the women on the retreat and to help them reframe them in more constructive ways. I can’t wait to see how their stories change their experiences of the coming months.
So, if you want to change YOUR story then have a look here at the next retreat in November. This could be the turning point in YOUR story. And if you can’t wait until November then email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can have a chat about how Rapid Transformational Therapy can help you change your story and change your life.