Do you know who you are? I don’t mean your name, hopefully you DO know that! I tell you why I’m asking.
A lot of people ask me how do they find their WHY. There generally comes a point in everyone’s life, sooner or later, where you start to wonder what life is all about, and what you are ‘supposed’ to be doing.
There is usually a trigger like a death, a divorce, a parting of ways, a redundancy, the last child leaving home, a move to a new country or city. At some point something comes along to upset the applecart, and your life, which was going along of its own accord almost, suddenly arrives at a crossroads. And you don’t know where you should go.
It is often at one of these points in life, that you start asking “where am I? Am I where I am supposed to be? Why am I here? What do I do now?” even though to other people you appear to be doing fine.
I meet a lot of people when I’m coaching or speaking or networking. And I see both men and women “pretending to be ok”. It’s like I can see through the mask, maybe it’s the extra wrinkle or the furrowed brow or in most cases it’s just a sense that I pick up on.
The truth is everyone has down days. This last week we shone a spotlight on Mental Health and the statistics are frightening. By the tender age of 14 it has been shown that kids can feel stressed and because mindfulness is still generally seen as “woo-woo” potentially by the time you get to ask the question “why am I here?” there has already been decades of hiding behind the mask and keeping it all in.
Marion Bevington and I started the Find Your WHY Foundation, where we coach through our award-winning book or via our online program, through small groups at our retreats or even on a 1:1 basis and here you can find the answers to these questions and more.
And the thing is, it all starts with Clarity.
But how can you be clear on what your purpose is and why you are where you are right now, unless you first know yourself. Most of our clients have no idea why they sometimes behave the way they do, why they can’t be more like ‘other people’?
Do you ever look at a friend or colleague and wonder either how on earth they can react like they did about something, which you thought was inconsequential? Or alternatively, you watch someone responding ‘much better’ than you think you would in similar circumstances?
Well, in brief, it is because we are NOT all the same, and yes, I know you know that. There’s more to it than individuality, or upbringing. Each individual has a genetic code, coupled with the time and place they were born and various other factors, what we have found is there are 5 main personality types, with multiple different variations.
And there are commonalities in personal strengths, skills and qualities which sit with each of the 5 types.
You might be someone who has a vision, someone who sparks stuff off for others to pick up. We call you the Initiator and in an ideal world that is all you would do …go around informing others.
You might be the Architect type of person, who picks up a brilliant idea from someone and turns it into an actual plan.
You might be the Specialist who makes the plan real and give it flesh and bones, steps for others to follow. Here you follow your gut instinct, however, you can be prone to change your mind and depending on other areas of your profile, you might be the person who should never make a promise (imaging having an excuse for that!)
Perhaps you are the person who actually does the thing, and gets it done, in this case you would be the Builder.
Finally, you could be in the 1% club of Neighbours and you are like the canary in the mine, warning others of potential danger.
Of course, within the 5 types there are a myriad of variations. And there will also be one driving positive and negative thought.
There are also 6 elements can easily follow the development of a child:
- Exploring child
- Becoming part of a group
- Being able to see over the group
- Being the adult
For example, a person who is a “5” will seek and bring clarity so they do well as teachers, leaders, managers, or consultants for example, but they can often be paranoid and deluged with guilt. They are the person that if something goes wrong will immediately think it is their fault even when it is nothing to do with them. They are the people that, if someone is offhand with them, will immediately think they must have offended them, or they don’t want to be with them anymore (in the case of a partner) for example.
The combination of all these factors, can give enormous insights into who you are and why you do, think and feel the things you do.
This is one of the areas we cover in depth on our retreats. Our ladies who joined us last week in Marrakesh, had some real lightbulb moments into themselves and their own behaviours, beliefs, fears, hopes and dreams. And into what might be holding them back.
There is far too much to go into in this blog, however if you would like to know which of the 5 types you might be, or if you have a sneaky suspicion and want to know if you are right, email me on firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll tell you what the next step is.
And if you haven’t yet read our book “Find Your WHY to become frickin’ awesome’ go get a free copy here (we just ask you to cover the shipping & handling costs).