Have you ever set a new years resolution, a goal or an intention? You know it’s something that you really really want to achieve? You know it will make you feel so much better about yourself and your life… If you think about it you feel excited and enthusiastic… But you procrastinate, put it off, and discover that you have this devilish self saboteur that seems to make you do things that take you further ans further from the thing you want?
Hi, I’m Marion Bevington the co-creator (along side Cheryl Chapman) of “The Live Love Laugh Lounge™” Ask me how I know about this…. Yep I’ve done that too!
The interesting thing is that this type of self sabotaging behaviour is driven by your inner critic and that inner voice is fed it’s toxic lines by a deep and dark source of unwritten rules. These rules are so frequently in our thoughts and you can read more about that in the earlier article WHY! There’s a Problem with Thinking!
Many of these unwritten rules come from way back down our family lines, from our ancestors or from the bygone days of the society we live in or the culture we belong to.
In “The Live Love Laugh Lounge™” home of WHY’s Women, we discovered that there were so many ways that stopped progress and blocked success. A few favorites were procrastination, distraction, excuses (often very valid – it seemed) and oh so many reasons not to complete the steps or do the work that would have created the results needed to manifest our intentions and desires.
When I began working on my own growth and development I became aware of just how deeply conditioning can impact our responses, reactions and behaviour, it really opened my eyes and my mind as to how profoundly conditioning was affected me and my life!
How is Conditioning Stopping you?
A group of scientists who were interested in these deeply conditioned behavioural patterns that stop you, get in your way and leave you wondering WHY? Well they devised an experiment where they put five monkeys in a cage with a ladder in the middle, above the ladder they suspended a bunch of fresh, ripe bananas.
Then every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists rigged a system that soaked the rest of the monkeys with cold water, they hated this. So they learned to react violently to any monkey going on the ladder. This is basic conditioning, remember the Pavlovs dogs, the food, the bell and the salivating dogs?
So now whenever a monkey went up the ladder, the others beat it up and in a relatively short period they had created a societal “rule”, no monkey dared to go up the ladder regardless of the temptation of the ripe bananas.
The next step was to replace one of the monkeys. And as soon as this new monkey saw the ripe bananas, it did what any (unconditioned) red-blooded monkey would, it went up the ladder. Immediately the other monkeys beat it up. By now no water was required.
After several beatings, the new member learned the “rule” not to climb the ladder even though it never knew WHY! (conditioned).
A second monkey was substituted and the same occurred. The first monkey participated in the beating. A third monkey was changed and the same beating was repeated. The fourth was substituted and the beating was repeated and finally the fifth monkey was replaced.
Finally, a group of five monkeys, none of whom had ever received the cold shower, and so none of them knew WHY, would not even attempt to climb the ladder.
This type of unconscious deep conditioning is at the root of our limiting beliefs, it is what feeds that negative voice in the mind, that inner critic and relentless inner judge.
This story helped many of my clients to begin to understand why they continued to do what they were doing – and WHY they continue NOT to do what they intended to do? Does this sound familiar?
Clearing conditioning begins with acknowledging and becoming aware of the “rules” that have been handed down through your family, your friends, your education, your culture, the media and society at large. There are so many ways you can become unconsciously programmed and conditioned and with the light of awareness you can then take the first steps toward de-programming, deconditioning the mind which will then give you choice.
When you choose to accept there is a different way to think about things, to see and perceive things in a different light, then you can find those thoughts, feelings and actions that serve you better, and you can find that change is great.
If you, like me and have been raised to believe that the rules to live by sound a bit like: “we’ve always done it like that” or “What will other people think/say” or “Who do you think you are?” which can also be translated into sound a bit like “Who am I anyway or I’ll be found out if I do that” and then there’s also the all time classic “Money is the root of all evil!”, so who would want to be evil? The good news is that change is possible, so you can be rich, even without being evil!
So you might be thinking how do you create a new set of “rules”?
And how do you write the new ones that are needed to align your actions with your conscious intentions and goals for greater freedom and abundance.
Identifying where these rules where programmed and encoded in to your thinking and your mind. Revealing which of your life events or situations established the conditioned and unconscious beliefs and rules about the world and yourself. Will give you access to the transformation needed to begin realising your wishes and dreams. Once you, like me, uncover this deep conditioning, then you are ready to start the process of turning your life around.
In “The Live Love Laugh Lounge™” we offer online lessons and mentorship programs that take you through a step-by-step structured approach with the AIM to Find Your WHY! To Become Frickin’ Awesome.
Here, you’ll discover all you need to know about clarifying and clearing your blocks to abundant health, wealth and happiness!
If this sounds of interest to you, and you would like to find out more, get a FREE hard copy of the book Find Your WHY! written by Cheryl and accompanied by myself.
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