You know there’s a weird thing about limiting beliefs, in most cases people don’t know they have them. No, seriously, I mean it. Most people see ‘limiting beliefs’ as ‘reality’. And in fact, they are correct, since it is without a doubt, THEIR reality.
It can be very frustrating when you can see someone’s limiting beliefs are holding them back. I have a friend whose brother is a fantastic artist. His paintings of animals are often mistaken for photographs, they are stunningly good. I would hazard a guess he could make a living from it, if not a really good second income.
But he hardly ever paints. Why? Because he doesn’t think he is good enough. As a perfectionist he always sees the imperfection in his work. And a few years ago, after much cajoling and encouragement from his family, he agreed to do a painting for a friend. This was a painting of a person, not an animal. Not his core skill. The painting was good – the friend liked it, but the mother didn’t think it was a perfect likeness of her departed husband.
And so he stopped painting. That was 20 years ago and he hasn’t painted since, how sad is that? He has a major talent, a talent that uplifts those who see his paintings and received them as gifts in the past. And now he won’t do it because one bereaved sweet old lady, said he ‘got the smile wrong’. So not only is it sad, he’s also being selfish, think about it this way, he has deprived many people of the joy his work brings for many years.
But his belief, his “reality” the words he tells himself.. is I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. The reality is that he has a natural talent for painting animals, that every single painting of animals he has ever done has been gasped and ‘wowed’ at, and that he most certainly IS good enough – but NO-ONE is good enough to please every single person in the world all the time and there will always be people who don’t like you – or what you do. That is the actual reality. His reality is different because of his belief, which I’m sure you’d agree is limiting him.
Most limiting beliefs can be easily identified if you listen to the words someone uses… someone’s reality speak starts with the same phrases. And they are – “I can’t”, or “I’m not good at”.
And here’s the thing – the reason most people don’t recognise their own limiting beliefs is because they announce them as facts. They are a done deal. “I can’t lose weight”, “I can’t run”, “I can’t DO figures”. I’m no good at ….
Now, I’m not saying there are not some things that are harder for some people than others. We all have natural talents, and we are all not good at everything (though I truly believe we could be if we wanted to enough). So what natural talent do you have? Maybe its an ability to organise others, to help support others but maybe you’re not a great cook. Well here’s the thing, could you change that?….Hell Yes! You could learn a new skill and become “frickin’ awesome” at it.
You see, this is what you need to know and remember; anyone can do anything.
Yes, that’s right. Anyone can do ANYTHING.
OK, so if you have brown eyes and you want blue – you can’t change that, well actually you COULD go buy blue contact lenses! And sometimes you might miss the boat. If you are 98 and want to win the golf open – you may have left it too late, but you COULD learn to play golf at any age.
Listen, if Nick Vujicic a man born with no arms and legs, can become a worldwide motivational speaker, meet and marry the woman of his dreams, and go to the beach with his kid, I’m sure you would agree you can do anything you want. I believe that is the key, the desire to do the thing that is hard, must be stronger than the desire not to.
So the question is how can you even identify your limiting beliefs and once you have , how can you change it?
There are many different techniques to help you overcome limiting beliefs, and one of those is Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), now here’s the thing if you’d told me 10 years that I’d become a Rapid Results Therapist I would have laughed at you and yet here I am helping others to uncover their limiting beliefs just like others did for me. Its true to say that all limiting beliefs are born out of experience. And generally, these occur in childhood. Most of my clients don’t know what this ‘childhood trauma’ has been.
“What do you mean by that Cheryl “(I hear you say). “If I had experienced a childhood trauma, I think I would know about it.”
Well, that’s not necessarily true, at least on a conscious level. I mean there are big obvious things right? If as a child you lost a loved one, a parent, sibling, grandparent or beloved pet you probably will remember that.
If, as a child, you got knocked off your bike by a car and ended up in hospital you would remember that. And if you ended up as an adult having a fear of needles, or being a nervous driver or with some separation anxiety about loved ones, all of that could be fairly easily related back to the original trauma.
However, most limiting beliefs aren’t formed that way. They are things that may look (as an adult) like nothing much. In my case you may have heard me talking about when I was a small child and had to hide the front door key under my vest so I could let myself in, because my Mother had to work. She was concerned people might judge, or worse, take me away and so she told me to “BE CAREFUL” and not let anyone in.
That was great advice for a small child, but I carried that with me well into adulthood and had always ‘been careful’ for example not taking ‘risky’ opportunities when they came up in my career, not really letting many people ‘in’ emotionally.
This is how it often starts with limiting beliefs.
This is why Marisa Peer created The Rapid Results Therapy technique because she too was being held back because of childhood experiences and now I am privileged to help others with this technique. Thousands of people who have fears, phobias, traumas and limiting beliefs and these people are transformed with this amazing process.
There was the child that overheard her father talking to a shop keeper and telling him ‘she doesn’t really understand money’. She was 6, of course she didn’t understand money! But she took this as a fact and had huge money issues all her adult life as a result, until we released this “fact” back to where it belonged. There was the child that was told – “eat it all up, you don’t know how long it will be until you can eat again” – this was on a long car journey – but it stayed in the psyche and became a reason for over eating.
And how about the child told to “stop asking so many questions” who then developed a problem asking for what she wanted her entire life.
You see as a small child (0-7 years old) you are searching for meaning for everything. “Why does Mummy feed me?” Answer “Because she loves me”. Now, as a child we often don’t know WHY something has happened, and the not knowing why is – apparently – more difficult for the subconscious to deal with, then giving an event a meaning – even a negative one. When a child finds something painful or embarrassing, that they don’t understand, they will create a meaning for that event and that will define their reality from that moment.
For example – the woman who was sent away to boarding school by plane, who then became frightened of flying. Of course she did, because to her – flying meant pain. Flying meant going away from her mother and to a place where she felt alone and unloved. She wasn’t really frightened of flying – she was frightened of abandonment. Or the man whose Mother left home at 5 years old, who decided that was clearly his fault and all women would eventually leave him (you can imagine what happened – he tried very hard to prove himself right!).
So what can you do now? I invite you to take a minute and have a look at what is might be holding YOU back and where you could be holding a limiting belief as actual fact. If you can’t find it and yet you know you are not where you want to be, let me help you.
And if you are interested in finding out more about RTT and how it can help transform (in most cases) in ONE 90 minute session, then I have an offer for you:
Right now (August 2017) I am offering 6 people a £499 session for only £99 in exchange for a testimonial once you have experienced the transformation.
Click here to book your complementary 20-minute consultation and to find out if I can help you to change your story and have a life of freedom https://calendly.com/cheryl-29/1-1-rapid-transformation-consultation-20-mins