Last week we were talking about why positive thinking (alone) doesn’t work, and our acronym – that positive thinking is S.H.I.T.
So this week I thought I would share with you what the “S” is all about. You see what I have noticed is that many people who (incorrectly in my honest opinion) practice ‘positive thinking’ get themselves into all kinds of trouble. Now in case you didn’t read last weeks blog – here is the link, let me stress that positivity, in general, is a good thing. Would you agree that there’s no point looking at life and only ever expecting the worse to happen? That’s right because there is a very good chance that you’ll become “Gypsy Rose Lee” who can predict the future! I remember hearing a saying “what you put out comes back 2 fold”
I believe in the power of choice and the power of choosing a positive outlook. However, what I hear from my new clients is that they have tried thinking or saying positive words, thinking that this method on its own is enough.
Many have also been told, incorrectly in my opinion, that daily affirmations will solve all their problems. Don’t get me wrong, there is a potential power in positive words when they are said aloud and/or written down, I use this technique as one of many strategies on my Find Your WHY! Mentorship Program, because over time this activity can create new neural pathways in the brain and lead to positive outcomes.
However, let’s look at this further, if you just say “I am going to lose 2 stone” but you continue to eat unhealthily, do no exercise and generally consume more calories than you expend, then I am sorry, you not losing that 2 stone, no matter how many times you say it.
And that’s because you have to ‘own’ it, and take responsibility, then and only then, will you take the all-important next step… that’s right you will get into ACTION and you have to stay focused and believe it will happen. That is why the words on their own are not enough. And do you know what? Thinking that this is possible is well, dangerous.
Why? Because they can lead you into a false sense of security… And why is that dangerous? Well – for many reasons. Firstly, as in the example above – if you don’t believe the words, and therefore you don’t DO anything differently then you will not lose the weight/stop smoking/win 4 new clients/earn enough to go on your dream holiday/buy that new car – or whatever else you are ‘positively thinking’ about.
Problem number 1
Is disappointment, imagine every day saying “I’m positive, I’m positive, wow I’m positive… and then you get a bill to pay and you have no money, how do you think that would make you feel? SHIT?
And If you keep being disappointed by ‘positive thinking’ eventually you will probably stop being positive altogether. Which is a shame, because – done right – positive thinking is a key to changing your life.
Problem number 2
Being lulled into thinking that “IT” is going to happen all by itself and thinking you don’t have to put the hard work in means you have no plan.
Now – if your version of positive thinking is ‘I am going to be able to park in Tesco today near the front’ and for whatever reason, you can’t – that is probably not a major issue.
However, if your positive thinking is ‘I am going to be able to park in one of the (only) 20 spaces next to the railway station today’ and, as a result, you get to the station with 5 minutes to the train and you CAN’T park there. Then you are going to miss the train and that is going to be inconvenient at best, because you guessed it – no plan a let alone plan b.
Problem number 3
The third problem with a false sense of security can be far more serious. Let me give you a couple of examples. You are going on a night out with girlfriends and you have a little too much to drink. Your friends say come with us, however, you have decided to take a short cut through a dark alley to get to the taxi rank, “Don’t worry I’ll be alright I have positive vibes” Half way down you get an unnerving feeling about a guy walking ahead of you but you carry on because you think it will be fine. The guy disappears into a doorway and as you pass – shoves you onto the floor and runs off with your new Hermes bag. (True story – happened to a good friend’s work colleague). Luckily she ended up with only a bruised knee and less one expensive bag. Could have been worse. ‘Positive Thinking’ (and possibly the alcohol which often contributes to a false sense of security), caused her to ignore her feelings to turn and run back to the well-lit and busy main road which was the long way around.
Another example of the dangers of positive thinking would be the person who ignores persistent symptoms, as their positive thinking tells them it will all be fine and there is nothing to worry about. I think healthy therefore I am. This happened to another friend of mine who’s Father had persistent and troubling stomach symptoms. It was not until her Mother asked her if she could borrow some toddler sleep nappies, which had mysteriously disappeared that he revealed the health issue he had been hiding from the family because he thought he could think positively and the pains would go away. It turned out he had stomach cancer. No amount of positive thinking was going to make that go away.
So I invite you to think carefully about the difference between having a positive attitude and living in cloud cuckoo land. For positive thinking to work it is important that you don’t lose all sense of reality and end up with a false sense of security that at best – will not serve you well, and at worse can be downright dangerous.
There are tools you can use to help you make positive thinking a reality for you. If you are interested in knowing more – click here to get a free copy of my best selling book Find Your Why, where you will not only get to understand where you are now, but also the right way to use Positive Thinking to get what you want in your life so you can Live, Love and Laugh every day.
So when I say positive thinking is S.H.I.T. – there is a reason for the full stops. It is an acronym (meaning each letter stands for something) today we have covered the S, security and the false sense of… and over the next few weeks, I will be sharing with you the H.I.T elements too. These will help you so you can learn and use to create positive changes in your life, which is one element of being able to help you to #FindYourWhy and Live, Love and Laugh every day!