Over the last few months I have been holding my Grace The Stage events all over the UK and Ireland. What I have noticed more and more, anecdotally, is that many people (and proportionately more women than men) do NOT shout about their own stuff. They wait in the background for someone to notice how great they are.
I think it is from ancient times. Men had to go out with the club and find and kill something for everyone to eat. They are genetically programmed to ‘get out there’. Whereas the women would wait back at the cave, making sure the children were safe, and maybe the older people, the fires were lit, the shit (literally) was cleared up.
Now – that was understandable back then. But today the same thing happens. We have discussed before how a man (broad generalisation I know but proved to be true by many studies from the big consulting firms) will apply for a job he is only 50% ‘qualified for’. Where a woman will not apply for something if there is even ONE thing on the job specification that she doesn’t tick the box for.
Women want things to be perfect before they will talk about what they do, and often not even then. We are brought up not to brag, not to be big headed, not to ‘be selfish’ – in other words to put ourselves first.
But that is fundamentally WRONG, and why so many women hit a point in their lives where they suddenly wonder wtf it has all been for. Maybe your kids have left home, perhaps you have gone through a divorce or separation, possibly you have lost a parent, a partner or maybe you have gone through an illness or operation. It could be you have been made redundant or decided to retire early because you can’t stand the rat race anymore. And then what?
Well, this is often a time when a woman will decide things need to change and perhaps start her own business. Maybe that’s the same for you.
Many of the women I meet when speaking at events – are BRILLIANT at what they do. They have many years’ experience, and/or have spent much time and money educating themselves (and often getting qualifications – because they feel they need them). They offer a great set of products or services. But they don’t tell anyone. Because they don’t want to be big headed. They fear anyone criticising them.
Perhaps that’s you too.
It’s easy to see why. If you look around you will see plenty of people spouting about their great product or service – nearly always men – who don’t have the same hang up about getting out there. I know some do, but if you look at all the ‘Guru’s’ out there on social media, the vast majority are men. If you look at all the ‘famous’ public speakers – the vast majority are men.
Now – does that mean that they are far superior to YOU or anyone else in their field. Possibly. But probably not. There will always be leaders in the field – in any market. Does that mean they are the only people worth doing business with? No, of course not. But it does mean they are getting proportionately more of the market share.
Let me illustrate this more. The lady who helps me with my social media is a friend of mine. She used to run a recruitment business. She sold it, the plans went a bit ‘tits up’ as we say up north, and so she started another business. She is one of the ACE coaches at Andy Harrington’s events and we were talking one day. I had a vague idea she might so something related to social media but I didn’t really know what.
I asked her what she was doing and why I didn’t know about it. She just smiled and shrugged. She felt that since this was a new area for her (this was back in 2015) that she had all this experience in recruitment, that she didn’t ‘deserve’ to be talking about social media like she was an expert.
When she spoke to me a bit further – she realised that she didn’t need to be the expert of the whole world in social media. She just needed to know more than me. Which she did. And 4 years later – considerably more! She still doesn’t shout about it loud enough – but she is getting better!
And it’s a pattern I see repeated time and time again.
Now, as you know – I am on a mission to get one million souls to say “Why Not Me?” – and that’s what I want for you today. I want you to go and post something on your social media about something great you have done, in your business.
It doesn’t need to be earth shattering, and you don’t need to be the “Tony Robbins” of your field. Whatever your life knowledge, experience and skills there will be people who need just YOU. Not anyone else. YOU.
It’s like when you’re courting (that’s Yorkshire for dating by the way). You don’t resonate with everyone do you? Not everyone makes your heart flutter. Some frankly make your heart thump in a – get me out of here something is not right – way. Some are OK and you’d be happy to have them in your circle but not your inner circle. And others – well it just fits like a glove, its easy.
Well that is the same with clients. There will be some who will run a mile – or you will. That’s great – they are not for you. There are others who are ok, it’s fine – they may leave and go somewhere else some time but it is good for now. That’s fine too – they are here for a season or a reason and not forever. They learn, you learn and everyone moves on.
And then there are the clients who you love, and they are your raving fans. They are not going anywhere – it doesn’t matter how brand shiny and new something else is – they are yours and you are theirs.
But unless you take your light out from under your bushel – they will just walk right past – and go get your services or products from someone else who is NOT right for them. They could have been yours – if only they had known you were available and had what they need.
So – go post something (on Facebook, Insta, Twitter or LinkedIn) and tag me in – so together we can let the world know how Frickin Awesome you really are.